Man, I can’t believe work gets in the way of my Friday Joke sometimes. Yeah, yeah, it’s late. But it’s here.
A guy walks into a doctor’s office with a carrot in his ear and a piece of celery up his nose. The Doctor says, “I can tell you right now you’re not eating right.”
Oh, my, it’s late in the day and I almost didn’t this posted. That’s what I get for working for a living.
Here’s a real stinker.
Three guys were fishing at a lake in the summer, when one of them fell in.
After rescuing him from the bottom, the first guy gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. “Man, this guy really has bad breath!” he exclaimed. “I cant revive him, you give it a try!”
The second guy took his turn. “Man, you’re right, he does have raunchy bad breath, and i don’t remember this snowmobile suit either!”
There’s no easy way to tell you this. So I’ll just blurt it out.
Where does the king keep his armies?
Up his sleevies.
Yep, once again, another week has arced across the sky and exploded into little tiny bits, raining down week-debris upon our heads. To celebrate this short-lived event, we present the ritual recognition of ephemerality known as the Friday Joke.
What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown?
Does this taste funny to you?
Let’s face it, the Friday Joke has, well, said things. On record.
Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says, “This is the pig I have sex with when you’ve got a headache.” Wife replies, “I think you’ll find that is a sheep.” Man replies, “I think you’ll find I was talking to the sheep.”
Yup, it’s that time of the week again. The Friday Joke is just a fact of life.
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A pool table.
In honor of this obviously socialist-inspired celebration of “Labor” and “Workers” and all those foreign ideas, let’s do something truly American. Let’s play the dozens.
Ready? My turn.
Yo mama’s so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo mama’s so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
Yo mama’s so fat, she got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
(Ow, I just killed you, sucka. You didn’t even get in one retort. Pow!)